Well, hopefully he does come back at some point if he hasn't figured it out, because I'm pretty sure I have the solution that he has been looking for.
The problem is with at least one of the cam sensors. The air/fuel commanded equivalence ratio of 29.3 is actually just a misinterpretation of the data by the scan tool, so that's basically a red herring.
The reason no codes are triggered is because when the hall-effect type CMP sensors (which the Acadia also uses) fail, they don't create a short circuit, open circuit, or even an abnormal voltage—they actually even continue to send a signal just like normal—so the PCM can't see any fault. The problem is that the signal can become erratic, inverted, or stuck , so the PCM ends up triggering the fuel injectors almost continuously along with firing the coils randomly. The result is that at least one bank becomes total chaos and kills the engine almost immediately as it tries to achieve steady state. It very much mimics a fuel delivery problem, and since there are no codes, this should probably be on a list of the most elusive diagnoses out there.
The only way to I can think of to identify the problem reasonably quickly would be to plot the CMP signal waveform for each sensor using a scope and compare with the OEM specified 720° square wave plot. I highly doubt many people would think do check this right away though.
(Additional note: These sensors also tend to fail in sets, so it's best to replace them all at the same time.)
Well, hopefully this will help someone someday 👍